


waves

by Hazazel



Series: all these shades of black [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, Some discussion of killing but in vampire circumstances, this is quite melancholic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 06:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14635584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazazel/pseuds/Hazazel
Summary: There’s a weird ache in his bones, some longing for the time when he lived alone – far from everything and everyone, the crunch of leaves and the taste of blood his only company. There were reasons for his pack bonding. It had to happen, when the forest disappeared, and suddenly there was a city and people and noise and smells and everything was too fast for his old old brain. When you live for centuries, a day passes in the blink of an eye, and you’re not used to living the hassle of dusk and dawn and everything in between.





	waves

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by waves, an original song by Chloe Moriondo

The sound of waves is what wakes him. It’s so unusual, for someone used to being deep in the land, that it’s been throwing him off his sleep schedule. Well, day sleep. It’s not like they need sleep, after all, they’re vampires. It’s just the easiest way not to get all up each other’s throats when you’re living with others and have nothing else to do but quarrel. Maybe he wouldn’t have quarreled with Asahi, the guy is too sweet. But he and Ryuu would definitely kill each other within a week if they had to constantly be around one another.

There’s a weird ache in his bones, some longing for the time when he lived alone – far from everything and everyone, the crunch of leaves and the taste of blood his only company. There were reasons for his pack bonding. It had to happen, when the forest disappeared, and suddenly there was a city and people and noise and smells and everything was too fast for his old old brain. When you live for centuries, a day passes in the blink of an eye, and you’re not used to living the hassle of dusk and dawn and everything in between.

He remembers staying up. For weeks, months sometimes. Perched on top of a tree, on the peak of a mountain, letting the rain and the sun wash over him, healing faster than he burned, and then welcoming the night and howling with the wolves. Those were simples times. There was no need to be quiet, no need to hide.

There’s an ache in his heart. Maybe it’s the sun on his chest, maybe it’s the smell of salt that permeates the very walls, maybe it’s all of this shitty situation they’re in. He doesn’t know which is worse. Probably the salt.

“Hey,” Ryuu says when he wakes up to find him crouched near the window, rapidly healing burns on his arms. “You were up early again.”

“It’s the waves,” Yuu says, “I can’t sleep because of that damn noise.”

“I know, me too, at first,” Ryuu sighs. “You’ll get used to it.”

He’s not sure he wants to.

 

Yuu kind of hates Japan. Where he’s from, there’s flat earth for miles, and he misses running so fast the wind whirled around him and shook his breath away. There was nothing to stop him, he could go in a straight line for miles without seeing anyone, without bumping on anything. He could turn into a hawk and watch tiny tiny mice from up high, he could fly until he wasn’t tired anymore. There was no one to tell him what to do, no reason to stay locked up, and the clean smell of earth surrounded him like a reassuring blanket.

He misses the sunsets on the mountain ridges, so far away and yet so close you thought you could touch them with the tip of your finger. He’s ran to them more time than he could count, on sleepless nights and restless days. The sight was breathtaking, and there were always animals to keep him entertained. He remembers the time wolves surrounded him, growling at the intruder on their land. He’d growled right back, feral. Nothing like this will happen here – the city hosts other kinds of monsters.

He misses home.

There’s a reason they moved away. That’s what he tries to tell himself, that they’re better off here. Far away from the pitchforks and the screams and the sun burning off their skin. “We could have moved anywhere else, why here ?” he said to Ryuu, but they just shook their head and answered, “We’re safe here, that’s what matters”. Yuu can’t help but wanting more.

 

There’s an itch under his skin. Sometimes Yuu wonders if he really did leave the mountains, if his heart just wasn’t torn from his chest and buried with the wolves where it belongs. Or if he isn’t still up there, with the moon and the stars and the cold wind from the north.

There hadn’t been wolves in a while, truth be told. They’d all ran away when then men came, with their metal and their fire. Construction sites, one after the other, and no space left for the wildlife. No more wolves, just like that. And no more strange man of the mountain, who ate the wild berries and drank the blood of the travelers. No more rumours.

Sometimes he wonders if time truly has passed since then. It seems like yesterday, like his old self is just there, just there under the surface, if you’d scratch a little he’d come right out and yell and scream and make some noise. Ryuu tells him it’s been – years. It’s been years. Yuu just… didn’t snap out of it.

He feels left out.

 

“Hey,” Ryuu says. “You’re up late.”

“I didn’t sleep,” Yuu answers. He knows he should have, but he hasn’t been…

Truth be told, he’s tired. Not like humans are, nothing in his muscle and his non-existent veins. It’s something bone-deep, all-encompassing. Like the very breath is being stripped out of him. Like there’s nothing he can do anymore. He knows Ryuu worries, he knows they’re concerned. It doesn’t quite reach him.

 

The Hunt. He’s heard them whisper about it, on and off, but he didn’t know it was so close. For the first time in a while, Yuu feels a twinge of excitement. It’s nothing much, it’s nothing like before, but this time he manages to get himself dressed, and surprises Ryuu by being the first out the door. They’re so used to seeing him drag his feet along when they go out eating, coming more because he hates the hunger-exhaustion and less because he needs food to live, like every animal on this earth.

They get there a little late. There aren’t so many vampires, but the magical folk does tend to regroup these days. Less of them, maybe, less of the Old. What surprises him is the large number of witches, and they don’t look like they’ve come from far away – they all carry the scent of the city, the smell of salt and concrete. There’s some that look young, too, little witchlings that eye the large werewolves around them with wide-eyed wonder. Toddlers, he thinks. He’s on a Hunt with kids.

“Gather ‘round, gather ‘round !” someone booms out. It’s one of the elder werewolves, droopy eyes and a shock of red hair. “The party’s about to start. We’ve decided on a larger territory this time, so there won’t be people running into each other. Please be courteous with out newest members, and remember: have fun !”

Yuu almost regrets coming. This isn’t fun, this is… dull. Boring. There’s no joy running down the streets when they have to be careful about being spotted, there’s no pleasure in hawking up the roofs of the skyscrapers.

Someone tugs on the sleeve of his shirt. She’s small, with a cute blonde haircut, and he smiles at her reflexively.

“You’re Yuu, right ?” she says with a stammer.

“You know my name ?”

“I – I do ? It’s, uh, a pleasure to meet you. I’m Yachi.”

“I didn’t know there were Japanese vampires,” he says, because he can’t recognise half the creatures present, but his own kind he would know a mile away.

“I’ve been recently turned,” she says. She can’t be more than sixteen, and he wonders who would turn such a cute little girl – people are cruel. “Someone saved my life, it’s not as bad as you might think. I’ve kinda liked being a vampire.”

These days, Yuu can’t say he has.

 

There’s something enthralling about the city lights seen from above, he has to admit. it’s not as pretty as his wasteland, but for tonight, it’ll do. The Hunt has started now, and they’ve all scattered around in search for preys. Yuu never understood why so many witches tagged along – isn’t murder bad, in the eyes of humans ? – but he guesses death witches and the like mustn’t have the same… ideas about that kind of thing. There’s the scent of a vampire not far away, and it wakes something familiar deep in his chest.

So he decides to chase it. He’s eaten relatively well these past few months, he can skip tonight. The smell is alluring, a little sweet, but mostly musky. It’s one he hasn’t caught in years, and he’s almost forgotten who it belongs to. Almost.

He’s here and he didn’t come and see him, Yuu briefly wonders, before thinking that he would have refused an encounter anyway. Maybe tonight, he feels ready.

The scent leads him away from the busiest streets, and into the less populated areas of the city. It’s further away from the sea here, and there are more trees. Yuu belatedly realises that he knows he’s being followed, and he’s always been shy. He’s a gentle giant – Asahi.

“You don’t have to follow me like that if you wanna talk to me,” he finally says when Yuu reaches him. “You could have called.”

“I don’t have a phone,” Yuu answers, “and I don’t have your number. And I – I wouldn’t have called.”

“I’m not coming back, Noya,” he says.

“You’re running away,” Yuu breathes, like he finally gets it. “And I was too.”

“Yeah, we are.”

“I don’t wanna hide anymore,” Yuu says. “Not – not like that. Not like what happened, but I’m tired of never sleeping.”

 

Yuu remembers it like ash on his tongue and blood on his hands. After the city was built, vampires had gathered there, curious for some, troubled for most. He was merely there because that’s where the most energy had gathered, and he’d been drawn in like a moth to a flame. He’d met Ryuu, and then Asahi. The three of them hadn’t clicked – better than that. They didn’t even need words. Yuu was surprised to see how easily being with someone could change you, how someone’s very presence could twist the long nights spent alone into a bitter memory and turn what he didn’t know was loneliness into… into this. Whatever it was, it had been good. Maybe too much – maybe he’d drowned in the sensations and forgot how to breathe.

Kisses didn’t come as easily as biting but he’d come around, holding hands was a novelty but filled him with the same sense of urgency as the waning moon – too much and too much and not enough. Fingers filled in the empty nights, and maybe the heat on his skin was a memory, but it felt so real – he’d needed it.

And then it had started. An impromptu Hunt. Some girl had come a little too close to their gathering point, tired from her day at work, blood deliciously filled with sugar. There were other vampires with them this night, some tall dude with white hair, and his short friend with the quick tongue. Their whole clan was there too.

They hadn’t stopped drinking until dawn came. Yuu had woken up from his trance to streets littered with bodies, his stomach more full than it had ever been. The town was still small, and he wasn’t sure there were any survivors – and what did it matter. The humans were gone, that was the most important. It had taken some time for the euphoria to settle, and then, he’d seen what they’d done.

Killing isn’t a two way street. When you’re human, you die. It just happens, and if it happens a little sooner than biologically necessary, then so be it. Vampires… they just don’t. They don’t age, they don’t rot, they don’t ever decay. There’s a reassuring certainty knowing your bones are made of stone, and your veins are empty. There’s a quietness to not having a heartbeat, there’s a relief to not feeling the give of your skin when you touch something.

Yuu had been horrified. Asahi even more so, and he was gone before the second dawn came. Ryuu had moved them to Japan, and the long slumber had begun. A funny story. A shitty one.

 

Asahi agrees to give him his number. Yuu resists texting him immediately to see if his phone would ring, if it’s not a fake, and he waits all the way to home before pressing the call button.

“I thought you might call,” Asahi yawns.

“You’ve grown soft,” he says.

“You’ve grown quiet.”

He supposes he has. It does funny things to you, guilt. He hated seeing the red on his hands after having washed them, hated himself for washing them again – and again and again and again and-

It just never stopped. “Once you’ve done it, it’s done, man,” Ryuu said, “stop beating yourself up about it”. He didn’t. It’s one thing to hunt for food – he’s a predator, that’s what they do. He doesn’t mind the chase, enjoys the thrill, that’s what he was made to do. Vampires hunt. it’s a simple reality, like the crystal clear reflection of the moon on a pond. This wasn’t hunt, this was mindless killing, and it left a taste of ash on his tongue long after his sun burns healed.

There’s a dozen questions he’d like to ask, and not enough time before sun rises. Asahi will probably want to sleep, he’d always enjoyed that. Or maybe he’s just like Yuu. Maybe he can’t sleep as well.

“I should go,” Asahi says after a long silence. “Yuu, it was… I was glad to see you.”

Don’t lie, he wants to say. Don’t lie to make me feel better, that’s not how it works, that’s my job, I don’t deserve it, he wants to say, but he doesn’t. The line cuts and he is left with the insistent beeping of the phone. That’s where Ryuu finds him the next morning, his phone battery dead and his eyes empty.

 

There’s an itch behind his eyes that’s more than sun burn – Ryuu looks like they’ve swallowed a wasp when he says, “Dude, I might cry”.

“You haven’t cried in months,” Ryuu says, “I thought it was getting better.”

“Did you know Asahi was here ?”

“I’ve seen him around,” Ryuu reluctantly admits.

“Why didn’t you tell me ?”

“He begged me not to.”

“So he really doesn’t wanna see me,” Yuu sighs.

“I don’t think that’s it,” Ryuu says, but they don’t add anything before leaving for the night.

He doesn’t move for a while. There’s no will in him to, but underneath the surface, he’s thrumming with energy – oh, the bone-deep tiredness is still there, but it’s somewhat subdued. For once, Yuu wants to go out. Maybe there’s something to see. He leaves a note for Ryuu before softly closing the door and realising he doesn’t have a key. It doesn’t really matter – he won’t be back before dawn.

This time around, Asahi doesn’t make Yuu chase him down endless alleyways. He just stops in the middle of the street and turns around with a fake smile, ready to shoot his offer down before it’s even left his lips. But Yuu says it anyway.

“Come back. Live with us.”

“I can’t, I have-”

“The girl,” Yuu says disinterestedly, “I know. She can come as well. We live in the abandoned building by the docks.”

“I have an actual house,” Asahi answers. “Someone to take care of. And this time…”

“You won’t fuck it up,” Yuu promises. And before he can stop himself, he says, “Please.”

Asahi bites his lip, and blinks twice.

“I’ll visit,” he ends up replying, before disappearing into the night.

Yuu lets him go.

Contrary to his prediction, he is back way before the dawn, and has to loiter around the building until Ryuu comes by.

“Holy shit,” they shout when they see him outside. “You actually went out. I’ve been tearing through the city to find you !”

“Asahi says he’ll visit,” Yuu excitedly says without bothering to answer.

“You sound happy. I’m glad !” they add before Yuu can snap at them, “I really am.”

Yuu’s mind is thrumming. He should tidy the house – he should eat something, so his cheeks aren’t so hollow – he should… There are a thousand things he has to do and the time for none of them. Ok, maybe some time, Asahi will show up soon but not soon enough that he can’t tidy up his room a little bit. There’s ash everywhere, now that he thinks of it, from his endless days of staring at the sun until his skin fell apart, and that just won’t do. What was he thinking anyway ?

Ryuu sees overjoyed to see him with a broom and they cheer loudly throughout the day, sparingly mocking the for their slow progress. Yuu’s just tired, ok ? He hasn’t eaten in a while and didn’t even get to enjoy the Hunt, there’s no shame in being a bit slow. Sometimes it’s better if you take your time, if you just revel in the beauty of a clean floor and neatened up shelves. There are a few books he’d like to read, now that he thinks of it – even though reading is such a hassle, it’s been good to him. There are still things he needs to learn about this world, like, what’s these planes Ryuu was talking about. Man, human technology sure moves fast.

 

It’s been two days. Yuu has cleaned up the whole house, texted Saeko with such great unease that Ryuu had to type his message for him, and read a book about travel methods. Now that he thinks about it, he’d love to travel. Asahi did say he enjoyed the forests and there are some in Japan, he knows as much. Maybe they could run wild like they once used to. The mere idea of being surrounded by trees again does wonders for his aching heart, and the smell of the sea doesn’t seem so acrid the next times he goes out.

He spares the first few preys. Mostly out of habit, when you didn’t know if you’d need to feed on that particular stranger again, because there were so few humans around. And then the thrill comes back to him, and the next few victims are emptied out until their blood stops flowing under his tongue. Damn, he missed this. The high is coming off a little and Yuu has half a mind to bury their corpses, but he doesn’t want people to find the bite marks, so a pyre will have to do. Yuu says thanks to the ashes that fly away with the sea breeze, and runs off. He doesn’t know where to, and he doesn’t quite mind.

 

It’s been five days. Yuu has read three books by now, which is impressive for someone who learned to read merely a century ago. He’s tidied up the “porch”, if you can call it that, and he’s neatened up the curtains. He’s gone shopping for new clothes, and he’s pleased to see he’s filled up a bit. The ache in his chest is still here, but this time, he’s able to tell it to shush down a little.

He spends the whole day awake, turning and tossing on the futon. It’s uncomfortable – he hadn’t noticed, with how little he slept in it. Maybe they should buy those western mattresses, they sound a lot more comfortable when your body could quite literally be made of stone. Yuu doesn’t really know, but maybe he should ask around. What really is a vampire, anyway ? He was turned a long long time ago, when information was so rare books didn’t even reach his part of the valley, and he’s never quite learned what it meant to have retractable fangs and horizontal pupils and turning into a hawk when the moon was high.

He’d never tried turning during the day. That’d be an experiment. It’s been a while since he’s done these, and when he barrels in their living room to find the curtains drawn and Ryuu asleep on the couch, drool on his chin where his mouth opens in a snore. It’s so cute it makes his heart swell, and Yuu is seized with a wave of gratitude for his best friend. His pack mate, if he can call it that – werewolves do have interesting terminology, and “friend” doesn’t quite encompass the bond they share.

As it turns out, Yuu can’t turn into anything while the sun is up. It’s not by lack of trying, and his curses end up waking Ryuu up. First, they look at him dumbfounded, probably wondering what they’re doing barreling on the floor like that, and totally not buying his excuses of “just needing to exercise”. Ryuu laughs at him when he admits he’d been trying to turn, and says that he should come to the next vampire meeting – wait, there are vampire meetings now ? The community really has grown when he wasn’t looking.

“You’ll like Terushima,” Ryuu says with a knowing smile. “His haircut is almost as silly as yours.”

“I’ll have you know that spiky hair is stylish,” Yuu replies snottily.

Ryuu is right – the vampire meeting, three days later, is a lot of fun. People are just so relaxed, and he’d forgotten what it was like to shout at someone in excitement because oh my god do your shoes light up ? Dude that’s so cool. There are a few other creatures here, mostly werewolves, and Yuu recognises the shock of red hair of the pack leader of the hunt. Well, not the pack leader, if the collar of bruises around his neck is to be believed, but all the werewolves seem to hold him in high esteem and that’s enough for him.

There are no signs of Asahi, or the blond girl. Go figure.

 

It’s been a month and Yuu can’t take it anymore. He takes a whole night to rake the city, combing through the streets to see if he finds him, but no such luck. He starts to overthink – what if Asahi left ? That would be like him, he did it once and Yuu doesn’t put it past him to do it again. But he doesn’t lose hope, and goes out the next night, and the next. And the next after that.

No luck indeed.

 

There’s a knock at the door and it startles Yuu from his mindless gazing at the book he was holding – not reading, just holding, he’d given up long ago. It wasn’t interesting anyway, something about physics that he can’t wrap his ind about. What even is a quark.

“It’s open,” he yells, hoping this is not a policeman like last time. He can’t eat those, they need to keep some sort of cover, and hypnotising them is such a hassle…

“It’s me,” a deep voice says, and Yuu startles all over again.

Holy shit. Yuu says it aloud, and runs to the front door, where Asahi patiently waits to be invited in. His hair is a tangle of knots and twigs, and he’s missing part of his left cheek, the cut still healing.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly. “I’ve been – uh, kinda busy.”

“Holy shit,” Yuu repeats, eying the wound with distrust. “You don’t say.”

Asahi doesn’t tell him much. Demons is all he says, and Yuu wonders what mage is foolish enough to just release one in the wild, before remembering that sometimes those damn bastards are too powerful to be contained by mere salt barriers and protective chants. Maybe that’s why that cut is taking such a long time to heal. Demons are nasty, if you ask him. Nothing more than trouble. No honour at all, no code, no morals. Shitty people. Well, Yuu kills people to live, so maybe he shouldn’t judge.

They don’t talk much, until they do. It’s like floodgates – Yuu has nothing to say that Asahi hasn’t already heard, stories of the wind and the moon and the dust on the sole of his feet, but Asahi is full of interesting stories about that girl he’s been helping and the local witch coven and the tengu assembly (“What are those,” Yuu asks, and Asahi is more than happy to explain).

They part hours later, well into the night, and when Asahi apologises for not coming sooner, Yuu waves him off with surprising sincerity. It’s been good to see him, and they’ll see each other soon enough, right ? Asahi smiles at that and says, “Yeah”, and just like that it’s like all those years apart never existed.

 

He comes back the next day. And the next. And the next, when they go hunting together and end up terrifying poor Yachi when then come back to Asahi’s house with their mouths sloppily painted red. His house is nice, with little potted houseplants that he takes good care of and a lot of curtains in case there’s the need to move around during the day. Yachi also keeps a cat – her name is Kitty and she’s been neutered, and she likes to bring her dead mice. Asahi thinks it’s good – it trains her to see death on a daily basis and maybe one day she’ll follow her cat’s hunter footsteps. Yuu chides them about the dangers of outdoor cats but smiles when Kitty rubs her soft fur against his bare legs – it’s February but he’s not cold, vampires never are, with that “no blood” situation.

Asahi can’t believe Yuu missed the last Samhain party. Yuu can’t believe Asahi knew there was a party and didn’t go, but he did send Yachi there, to “socialise”, as he puts it, and to get herself a little more used to dealing with the supernatural.

“What, like you don’t need practice ?” Yuu smirks, and Asahi sputters, but doesn’t answer. They’ve known each other long enough to recognise that some boundaries are just never crossed, and sometimes it’s better this way.

Asahi lets him stay the night – well, the day. Ryuu will be pissed as heck to know he missed this, he’s their friend too after all, but sometimes Yuu feels the need to hold Asahi close to his chest when it’s just the two of them and the lack of heartbeat keeps him awake at night.

The next time Yuu comes to sleep at Asahi’s house, he brings Ryuu, and they have a sleepover that lasts well into the sunny hours, laughing about nothing and reveling in the way their friendship hasn’t faded one bit. Yuu didn’t think it would but you just never know – Asahi is skittish, and Ryuu hotheaded, and he’s a weird mix of both. Anything could go wrong.

It doesn’t.

Asahi moves in three months later. He brings his houseplants and one or two fluffy blankets, but that’s all – “Yachi needs the rest more than I do, and you’re surprisingly well furnished, for a squat”. She still doesn’t eat people, but stray cats will suffice until her metabolism has shifted enough that she doesn’t see humans as fellows but as preys – and maybe she’s a grown girl, too, who can make her own choices and deserves a flat of her own. Ryuu visits her often and they all tag along, and Yuu can’t think of why he didn’t like that sweet sweet girl at first.

 

There’s a twinge of jealousy the first time he sees them hold hands, but Yuu supposes this is a natural development. Things really took off where they left them, eh. Next time Yuu plops himself between them and hold both their hands, and they don’t push him off. there’s a hundred things he wants to say – “I’m glad we’re talking again, I’m glad we’re all friends, I’m so glad to have you back, I’m so glad to _be_ back, I love you both so much”. Sometimes they slip past his lips, and it’s ok. Asahi blushes, and Ryuu hoots. It’s just like them to react this way, and he loves them, he truly does.

The potted houseplants are thriving, with all the extra sunlight they’re getting, and Yuu doesn’t mind burning his fingers off when he waters them by nightfall – he’s heard ash is a good fertilizer, and he enjoys the idea of helping them grow. Maybe that’s twisted, but Asahi doesn’t comment, and smiles at him when he steals a bit of their neighbour’s tap water. They won’t miss it.

 

The sound of waves doesn’t wake him anymore, and sometimes it even feels like he’ll be able to call this place a home.


End file.
